The loss of a home to fire is deeply personal and profoundly painful. A home holds not only our belongings , but also our cherished memories, the love that flowed within its walls, and a sense of safety. Our home may be physical in nature, yet a home also becomes an emotional and spiritual foundation, and a reflection of our selves and all we lovingly poured into it. It becomes part of our identity. When that is lost, we can feel unground, not whole, and adrift. This ceremony is designed to honor that loss, in all of its many facets, hold space for grief, celebrate what we cherished, and allow the beginning of release and healing.
The recent fires in Los Angeles have brought overwhelming waves of grief and loss, as thousands have lost homes and businesses. The trauma of these events will stay with us for years on individual, community, and societal levels.
Some of us react to the tragedy and grief by jumping into action —calling insurance agencies, cataloging damage, and notifying others. While we each navigate grief differently, honoring our emotions will seed our healing. This ceremony acts as a funeral of sorts, creating space for grieving, celebration, and healing.
You can perform this ceremony alone or with trusted friends and family who share a connection to your home. Please note that you do not need to be physically present at the home to perform this ceremony, as that may not be feasible or could be too painful. You can carry out this ceremony from a distance by altering the physical components of walking through the space and instead focusing on the spirit of the home in your mind and heart, or by utilizing photographs of the home as a talisman.
Intention
This ceremony honors your home and the memories it holds, acknowledges the pain of losing it, and creates space for releasing and moving forward in a way that carries all that you cherished. Its intentions are to:
- Anchor and solidify your memories of the home.
- Honor your relationship with the home and land.
- Acknowledge your grief openly.
- Release the home to move on.
How to Perform a House Release Ceremony
Follow these steps to perform the ceremony. Feel free to adapt them to fit your spiritual or cultural traditions.
1. Setting Intention
Start by setting a very clear intention for the ceremony. What do you want this ceremony to create or accomplish? For example:
“I honor the memories and the love this home held, and I release it to create space for healing and renewal.”
Share this intention with the participants and the home itself.
2. Preparing Yourself and the Site
- Practical Safety: Ensure the fire site is safe to visit and check for any necessary permits or hazardous material precautions.
- Emotional Preparation: Take time to ground yourself. Sit quietly, breathe deeply, and visualize light surrounding and protecting you.
3. Gathering in Circle
When you arrive, gather the group in a circle. State your intention aloud. Call in protective forces, such as the four directions (East, South, West, North), spirits of the land, ancestors, or personal guides. Invite them to join your ceremony circle and to offer protection.
4. Walking the Land in Silence
Invite participants to walk the land or site in silence – only if it is safe to do so. As you walk, listen to the home and the land with an open heart. Invite participants to tune into their emotions and to listen for messages from the land. Crying, grieving, or any other expression of emotion is welcome. Bring tissues.
5. Sharing Memories
Reassemble the group in a circle. Hold hands and take turns sharing memories of the home. These could include events, favorite features of the space, or the feelings it gave you. Sharing gratitude for what the home provided helps anchor the positive moments in your heart.
6. Offering Gratitude
Together, offer thanks to the home and land for its gifts. You might say:
“Thank you for sheltering us, for holding our memories, for containing our most cherished earthly possessions, and for being a part of our lives. We are grateful for all you have given us.”
This is a good time for a reading, blessing, or a collective song. You could also acknowledge that blessings of gratitude and healing will be shared by all the surrounding homes and land.
7. Releasing the Home
Now, release the home. Speak words like:
“I release you with love and gratitude. I will never forget the joy you brought, and we will always be in relationship, but I free you to move into a new phase.”
If you plan to rebuild, this release will allow for a fresh energetic start on the land.
8. Keepsake and Offering
- Keepsake: If it feels appropriate, select a small item to keep as a remembrance. This could be a piece of ash, a burned remnant, or even a rock or soil from the site. Use caution and ensure safety when selecting items.
- Offering: Create or leave an offering, such as a mandala made from natural materials, a piece of artwork, or even your tears. What matters most is the intention behind it.
9. Wishing for the Future
Before concluding, speak a collective wish for healing and renewal. For example:
“We wish for comfort and healing for all who have suffered loss, and for the strength for our community to rebuild together, stronger.”
Say it together, holding hands, to amplify the intention.
10. Closing the Ceremony
Thank the directions, spirits, and guides for their presence and release them. You might say:
“Thank you for joining us today and for your protection. You are welcome to depart, or to continue watching over this land and space.”
When you are in a safe space away from the fire zone, release the energy from the ceremony. It can be harmful to retain the heavy emotional energy associated with this ceremony. Sit quietly and breathe deeply. Open your body from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet and imagine bright gold light washing over you. With each breath, allow the energy and emotions to release into the Earth. Thank the Earth for accepting this offloading of energy from you.
After the Ceremony
Grieving is the first step toward healing, and it will likely be a long process. Take care of yourself and give yourself space for emotions to arise. Follow up with grounding activities, such as a nature walk, journaling, or art. Seek experts, such as grief counselors, support groups, and therapists. They are trained to help you process grief and move through your emotions.
If possible, consider creating something meaningful with the keepsake you took from the site—a piece of artwork or a small memorial space in your new home. If you were not on site, consider creating something from a photo or photos you have.
Hold onto what you loved most about your home, carrying forward those elements into your next home when you are ready. In this way, your home will always be a part of you.